#manweek

My Dad came to Australia when he was 16. He came alone on the boat from Italy, leaving his parents, brothers and sister back home. 3 months on a boat. 16 years old. No English at all. Completely alone. (I sometimes wonder if I could of done that.)

He arrived and slept on a bed at his uncle Vittorio's house. Vittorio had arrived years early and had found work on the railways. All my father knew about was cars, so he tried his hand at being a mechanic. Soon, another Italian migrant who had successfully been running a service station and workshop in Fitzroy took him on board.

My Dad was hard. He grew up on the dodgy streets of Brunswick/Fitzroy through the 60's and 70's (apparently his nickname was Tony TuffBoy, hehe), and spent most of his days on his back under greasy cars, his nights at coffee bars and pool halls. He fought with the boss constantly but in true Italian style, this only earned him the old man’s respect. He married the boss’s daughter, and ended up taking over the business. The rest is as they say...

Since boarding that boat so long ago... he has always been at it. Even when the diabetes started fucking up his life, he still got under the cars, he still built gardens and retaining walls, or helped mates pave their driveways or paint their house on the weekends. Never stopping working... never. I might be the only ad planner on the planet that can serve you up a strat deck, replace your brake pads and grout your bathroom all at once.

You should know though that my old man and I rarely see eye to eye. I think at times he fails to understand that I chose to live in a world polar opposite to his. One of travel, ideas, ambitions, hopes and chasing desires... a disconnection exacerbated by my older brother who chooses a more traditional save, invest, and settle lifestyle. But even still... in him (the good, the bad and even the at times despicable) I have learned everything about what my journey to manhood has to involve.

It's a little bit about how physically tough you are. It's a little bit about how mentally tough you are. It's a little bit how you "act" in certain situations, even how you don't act in situations. Getting on the boat. Choosing your career. Arguing with the boss. Sticking up for what you believe in. Taking over the business. Relishing a sense of ownership and responsibility. It’s not about bravery or any of that macho bullshit. For me... being a man is about pride. Pride that when it's all done and dusted, you can know you did the best thing for you and the ones you love.

I can't argue with that about Papa, and he'd be proud to know that.

#manweek is an initiative from Reach Out aimed at encouraging men to talk more openly about their feelings.